syncopated.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

o lvl chinese

ignoring the words of your obnoxious little brother
kill or be killed spilled the words from your mother
I'll lay awake for a while
I'll leave the light on a while

you couldn't last a lifetime
caught between here and the days of it
carving her name across your arm
with every wish it's hit or miss her
I told you so
I measure distance in lines
departing the rest of my life

all lyrics from
the light & the glass
coheed & cambria

. . .

people talking. people of the future, laughing. men-to-be.

but you could feel an underlying anxiety - the air was tense.

then the teacher walked in. the scene changed in seconds; it was as if the clock had gone backwards several years. they were suddenly boys again, kids. some had fear etched across their faces, some buried their heads in their arms.

your focus secure and the loves you left well
smiles staged in photographs here until...

the results were read out, slowly, deliberately. with every utter, there was a corresponding response of emotion from the respective student. the few important moments passed.

there was a cluster of boys in the center of the class. they huddled, rejoiced, laughed with joy. and i was among them... we had been the borderline cases.

. . .

kill or be killed spilled the words from your mother

in his own corner, another close friend of mine let out a wail of despair.

. . .

ok, so i got a C6 for chinese. i've been struggling with chinese for ages, i'm happy with a pass.

but what i really fail to comprehend is how i managed an U in oral. how is that possible? my friend's friend is a teacher; he says that you only get an U when you go up to the teacher and not speak chinese/ scold vulgarities/ basically screw up totally. i'm damn bloody sure i didn't do that.

maurice got a pass in oral. when the teacher had asked him one of those set qns, he had rambled on without really knowing the qn. then the teacher asked...

ni zhi bu zhi dao wen ti ma?

maurice said, wo bu zhi dao. and they all had a good laugh together. and he got a pass! wtf.

anyway, my tuition teacher wants me to work my ass off for the rest of the year and retake my 'o's all the same. she says if i slack then next year my chinese will be even worse, so must keep pushing. still damn confused, our school teachers like damn blur one, still don't know whether got chinese ib exam, what format, what counts in final results, whether chinese class will split.

a lot of people care obviously. thx to eliz and a host of other pple. they all say, oh, china will be damn powerful in the future, must have good chinese to survive. mom says it's good to have a 2nd language, you are too one-dimensional (hans! lol.). points to angmohs speaking fluent chinese.

and i say wth, i don't think i should have to do something against my will. yes, i see the point, china going to be all-mighty and everything. but i still believe that i will be able to do well in life without it. all i want is to be able to converse with the hawker for my noodles, to tell the taxi driver where i'm going - i do not need to be able to spout four-word phrases and be philosophical in chinese, english suits me just fine for that.

as for being one-dimensional - i can sail for the country. i believe i can do well in chem, physics, maths. i think my english is of quite a high standard. i can play the piano to some extent - just hate the practising bit. just happy to be able to play any tune that comes to my head.

and that is not the only problem.

i still don't know much about the training trip in australia. if only laser go will be how sian la. then it cuts into the last week of term 3, so many assignment deadlines. and if i can't decide fast enough, even more problems - my passport pic how old, look like primary kid like that, twice the immigrations stop me already lol.

to think that spiderman is oh-so correct. with great power comes great responsibility. to think that, having surpassed my own expectations in both my academic results (how about 38/40 for a.maths and 35/40 for c. maths last year? 33/35 for physics? just chinese suck only...) and sailing, i now have more problems than before.

imagine if i had done worse. i would perhaps be worse off, but with less problems, less expectations.

this is a very unique situation i'm in. i want to pull through. i think in time this will be something i can learn a lot from. i hope. you too, kwong. things will surely get better.

you left the light on
theres a chance I might have tripped, girl
you were there to hold on

Strummed at 10:07 AM (x)

the artist.
colin cheng.
3/4.14, 5/6.6.
acsi (ib).
10/09/1989.
sailor.
concluding@gmail.com

his experiences.
intersch 2004
beijing oep 2006
bordeaux 4.7 worlds 2006
los angeles radial worlds 2006
doha asian games 2006
hobart jan 2007
muse concert jan 2007
holland radial worlds 2007

his aspirations.
weight for laser.
breeze. chase it.
cut down on mistakes.
get to know pple better.
understanding. respect.
a cat.
discipline. control.
contact lenses.

his peers.
acsailing
cai
choong
elaine
han sheng
john loh
xin ling

his inspirations.
65daysofstatic
the arcade fire
christopher o'riley
the cinematic orchestra
damien rice
dream theater
elliott smith
explosions in the sky
hiromi
isis
joe satriani
john petrucci
liquid tension experiment
mogwai
mono
my brightest diamond
oceansize
opeth
peter, paul and mary
radiohead
rodrigo y gabriela
sigur rós
simon & garfunkel
thursday
vienna teng
yo la tengo

his work.
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007

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